I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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