I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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