it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
