I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
