I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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