I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
