Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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