New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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