He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
