does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
