oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
