I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
