I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
