yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
