508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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