I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why are your pants in the freezer?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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