so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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