That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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