mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
