you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
