roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
