Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i don't like sucking hair
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
