You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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