Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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