hell yes lets make some ravioli
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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