Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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