why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
