i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
