She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Houston, we have a blender
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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