There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
