A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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