Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
