shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
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it's like iHOP with fire
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
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Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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