I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
