My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
