Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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