I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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