We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
