she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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