My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
