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you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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