that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
