I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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