Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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