I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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