god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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