I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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