You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
