Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize