OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
