some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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