i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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