At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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