Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
