he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
