We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
