You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
