If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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