It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
