Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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