So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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A+ Viking dick
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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