I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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