:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
