so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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